Thanksgiving Is Not What It Used to Be!

How to Recapture the Loss of Gratitude

Thanksgiving used to be one of my favorite times of the year. Over the decades, though, the weather, football (what’s Thanksgiving without football?), turkey, pumpkin pie, and even gathering with family and friends have lost some charm.

The cold weather aggravates my knee surgeries. And since I’ve had turkey prepared in every imaginable way, it’s lost some appeal. My brain says to eat the pumpkin pie. My body asks, “Since you’re already stretched over your intended size, where exactly will you put that extra five lbs.?”

Additionally, over the years, it seems my family has lost their enthusiasm for spending time with Mom and Dad. Some of the loss may be because we have grown weary of who we consider an annoying family member (don’t lie – we all have at least one annoying family member!) We may each have a different one, but if no one tells you who theirs is, … it’s you! Accept that we all believe we are misunderstood. Now back to business …

Undoubtedly, the rapid growth of technology has exponentially widened the gap between younger and older generations. This could be a source of tension. Additionally, social media allows people to say whatever they want, good, bad, or plain evil, often without accountability.

Let’s be honest: this idea of little or no accountability has led to many divisive issues burning through our culture, affecting our families and entire society. We have witnessed the erosion of moral character and lack of respect with each passing restriction and attack on Christians and the Church due in large part to the idea in our society that there is little to no accountability.

It’s no wonder that Thanksgiving has become thankless and of nothing more than a holiday to many. The unrestrained attacks on our culture, Christians, and church by the unaccountable have blinded many to the loss of connection with God, who is the epitome of accountability.

Why has this idea taken hold? I believe it is because of a fundamental loss of gratitude, of thanksgiving for God’s blessings and provisions for us. It is a loss of connection with God. Thus, in the throughs of Satan’s influence, the lack of accountability leads to chaos and division throughout society and our families.

Gratitude cannot coexist with a lack of accountability. Contrary to the lack of accountability, gratitude requires learning to love, forgive, encourage, and show grace to others, even if it wasn’t shown to us.

Thus, gratitude has never been easy because Satan uses life’s hardships, disappointments, and endless to-do lists to obscure our ability to see God’s goodness in everything. Since a lack of accountability has no boundaries, it does not need God and is denied nothing. It need not be thankful for anything.

Yet, Scripture reminds us, over and over, of the importance of thankfulness (gratitude). Paul’s words to the Thessalonians resonate deeply:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NRSV)

Notice that Paul doesn’t say to give thanks for all circumstances, but in all circumstances. That subtle distinction holds a powerful truth: God is present no matter what we face, working for our good and shaping us for His purposes.

Why Thanksgiving Matters

Let’s start by addressing the elephant in the room: why should we be thankful for the hard stuff? Why should we be thankful for annoying bosses, difficult jobs, health issues, unexpected financial setbacks, and annoying families?

Isn’t gratitude reserved for life’s blessings—the job promotions, the healthy babies, the beautiful sunsets? Not exactly.

In Romans 8:28, Paul reassures us:
“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.” (NRSV)

This verse doesn’t mean that everything we experience is inherently good. Instead, it reveals that God, in His sovereignty, can use even the hardest moments to draw us closer to Him and accomplish His will.

When we approach life with this perspective, gratitude shifts from a fleeting emotion to a foundational mindset. Foundational mindsets are not based on emotion or wishful thinking but on an understanding and knowledge of God’s overriding care and provision for us regardless of the current circumstances.

Consider the story of Job. He lost everything—his wealth, his health, and his family. Yet, in the depths of his suffering, he declared:

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21, NRSV)

Job’s gratitude wasn’t rooted in his circumstances but in his unwavering knowledge of and faith in God’s character. When we cultivate a similar attitude, we acknowledge that our lives are in God’s hands and that His plans for us are ultimately good, even when they don’t make sense.

Cultivating a Thankful Attitude: Practical Steps

So, how do we develop this kind of gratitude? How do we overcome the idea that life can be lived without accountability? It’s not as simple as flipping a switch. Gratitude requires thoughtful and intentional discipline, often accompanied by a shift in perspective. By reconnecting with God and by becoming accountable, we enable gratitude.

It is something I have to work on every day. Hopefully, those around me will see and recognize my gratitude for everything, including my annoying family and the newest techno generation! Here are some steps that have helped me:

1. Start with Prayer

Gratitude begins with a conversation with God. Take time each day to thank Him for specific blessings. Start small: you woke up, the warmth of your morning coffee, the sound of birds chirping, or even the breath in your lungs. As you practice, your list will grow.

“Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6, NRSV)

Prayer transforms our focus from what we lack to what we have, opening our eyes to God’s provision.

2. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Each evening, jot down three things you’re thankful for. If you are not a journal-type person, send yourself an email or text message listing the three things you are thankful for. Or, as a last resort, have a time of prayer at supper that includes three things besides the food you are eating. Be sure you do it at the same time every day!

These things don’t have to be profound—sometimes, my list includes “wife made my coffee this morning” or “enjoyed a good laugh with a friend.” Prayer is good, but the act of writing helps solidify gratitude as a habit.

3. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities

This one’s tough, but it’s a game-changer. Instead of viewing hardships as obstacles, see them as chances for growth. For example, a difficult coworker can teach you patience; a financial setback can deepen your trust in God’s provision.

James puts it this way:
“My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” (James 1:2-3, NRSV)

4. Express Gratitude to Others

A thankful heart spills over into our relationships. It helps connect people in a positive way. Take time to tell your loved ones, coworkers, or even strangers why you appreciate them. Sometimes, just a simple “thank you” can brighten someone’s day and strengthen your connection.

The Benefits of Gratitude

1. Our Relationship with God

Gratitude draws us closer to God by shifting our focus from our problems to His faithfulness. When we thank Him, even in difficult times, we declare our trust in His goodness. This deepens our faith and opens our hearts to His peace.

Remember the story of the ten lepers in Luke 17:11-19? Only one returned to thank Jesus for healing him, and Jesus said:

“Were not ten made clean? But the other nine, where are they? ... Your faith has made you well.” (Luke 17:17,19, NRSV)

Gratitude doesn’t just acknowledge what God has done; it completes the work of faith, transforming us from the inside out.

2. Our Relationship with Ourselves

Thankfulness has a profound effect on our mental and emotional health. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude reduces stress, improves sleep, and boosts overall happiness. Spiritually, it reminds us of our connection as God’s beloved children.

When we thank God for who we are—flaws and all—we begin to see ourselves through His eyes: forgiven, cherished, and full of purpose.

3. Our Relationship with Others

As we begin to see ourselves through God’s eyes, we also begin to see those around us with God’s eyes; eyes that offer forgiveness and grace toward those annoying people in our lives.

Further, gratitude built on seeing ourselves as God sees us, fosters humility and empathy, two key ingredients for healthy relationships. When we focus on what we appreciate about others, we’re less likely to criticize or take them for granted. The societal, generational, and cultural differences fade into the background.

Paul’s advice to the Ephesians is a great reminder:
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NRSV)

First, Christ forgave you. The least you can do is model forgiveness in your attitude and actions. His forgiveness was not conditional on past or future shortfalls. Being thankful for His sacrifice and actions softens our hearts, making room for us to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.”

Thanksgiving as a Lifestyle

Ultimately, thanksgiving isn’t just a holiday; it’s a way of life. It’s a daily choice to see the world through the window of gratitude, trusting that God’s hand is at work in every situation.

This doesn’t mean ignoring life’s challenges or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it’s about finding God’s light in the darkness, His peace in the chaos, and His purpose in the pain.

Aligning Our Hearts with God’s

As we enter this Thanksgiving season, I challenge you to take the following steps:

1. Pause Daily to Thank God
   Start with five minutes each morning or evening to list the things you’re grateful for.

2. Reframe Your Struggles
   Ask God to show you how He’s working in your trials. Look for the lessons He’s teaching and the ways He’s shaping your character.

3. Share Your Gratitude
   Write a note of thanks to someone who has impacted your life. Better yet, tell them in person.

4. Anchor Yourself in Scripture
   Meditate on verses like Philippians 4:6, Psalm 100:4, and 1 Thessalonians 5:18. Let God’s Word reshape your mindset.

As you embrace a lifestyle of thanksgiving, remember this promise:
“Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name.” (Psalm 100:4, NRSV)

This Thanksgiving let’s not just count our blessings—let’s live them, reflecting God’s goodness to the world around us. Let us be thankful for our ability to connect with God and experience His Blessings in our lives!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Feel free to count your blessings in the comments.

Don’t forget to subscribe for more content. Share with a friend!